marți, 25 ianuarie 2011

Stupid People : they walk among us..

Aceste dovezi de stupiditate au fost primite prin email de la Joly Good Jokes.

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Johannesburg, South Africa , would-be robber Elliot Ncgube did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

1. Cand revolverul sau calibru 38 nu a fiunctionat cand a vrut sa impuste pe cineva in timpul unei talharii in Johannesburg, Africa de Sud, talharul Elliot Ncgube a facut ceva uimitor. S-a uitat pe teava revolverului si a apasat din nou pe tragaci. De data a mers.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

2. Bucatarul Chef al unui hotel din Elvetia si-a pierdut un deget in timp ce folosea o masina de tocat carne, si dupa ce s-a interesat ce are de facut, s-a adresat unei companii de asigurari pt despagubiri. Compania a banuit ca totul s-a datorat unei neglijente si a trimis pe unul din angajatii sai sa verifice cazul. Omul a folosit masina de tocat si a ramas si el fara un deget. Cererea Chefului a fost admisa.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

3. Un om care timp de o ora a dat zapada ca sa aiba loc de parcare in timpul unui viscol in Chicago a constatat, cand s-a intors cu masin, ca o femeie ii ocupase locul. Se intelege ca a impuscat-o. (Ehei, cati n-ar fi impuscati la noi din motive asememanatoare daca regimul armelor si munitiilor de la noi ar fi tot atat de lax ca in USA!)

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal shebeen, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

4. Dupa ce a cumparat bauturi alcoolice intr-un magazin care le vindea ilegal un sofer de autobuz din Zimbabwe a descoperit ca cei 20 de bolnavi mintal pe care trebuia sa-i transporte din Harare in Bulawayo au disparut. nevrand sa admita ca el e de vina soferul s-a dus la statia de autobuz din apropiere si le-a propus tuturor celor care asteptau acolo o calatorie gratis. Pe urma a dus pasagerii la balamuc, spunand personalului ca pacientii sunt f agitati si au tot felul de fantezii bizare. Inselatoria nu a fost descoperita decat peste trei zile.

5. A teenager in Soweto, South Africa, was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

5. Un adolescent din Soweto, Africa de Sud, a ajuns la spital cu rani grave la cap produse de un tren. Intrebat cum de s-a ranit asa de rau flacaul le-a spus politistilor ca pur si simplu a vrut sa stie cat de mult poate sa-si apropie capul de un tren care se misca inainte de a fi lovit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer ....$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

6. Un om a intrat intr-un Circle-K in Louisiana, a pus o bancnota de 20$ pe tejghea si a cerut sa i-o schimbe. Cand casierul a deschis sertarul omul a scos o arma si a cerut toti banii din casa. Casierul s-a executat prompt. Omul a luat banii si a fugit, lasand bancnota de 20$ pe tejghea. In sertar erau...15$ (daca cineva te ameninta cu arma si iti da bani e infractiune?)

7. Seems a guy in Polokwane, South Africa, wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a concrete building block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the block and heaved it over his head at the window. The block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on CCTV camera.

7. Se pare ca un tip din Polokwane, Africa de Sud, dorea cu ardoare niste bere. A decis ca o sa arunce o bucata de BCA spre fereastra magazinului, sa insface niste bautura si sa fuga. BCA-ul a ricosat din geam in capul hotului si l-a lasat lat, fara cunostinta. Fereastra era facuta din Plexiglas. Toata tarasenia a fost prinsa de camera de luat vederi a magazinului.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

8. In timp ce o femeie iesea dintr-un magazin din New York un om i-a insfacat poseta si a fugit. Vanzatorul a chemat imediat 911 si femeia a descris cu amanunte cum arata hotul. Dupa cateva minute politia l-a prins, l-a urcat in masina si l-a dus inapoi la magazin. L-au scos din masina si i-au spus sa stea drept pt identificare. La care el a raspuns; "Da, d-le ofiter, ea e. Ea e doamna de la care am furat poseta"

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. (*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER)

9. Intr-un ziar din Ann Arbor news la rubrica infractiuni srie desopre un om care a intrat intr-un Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, la 5 dimineata, a scos o arma si a cerut sa i se dea toti banii. Vanzatoarea i-a spus ca nu poate sa deschida sertarul daca nu comanda ceva de mancare. Omul a cerut onion rings (inele de ceapa in aluat) si vanzatoarea i-a spus ca nu servesc asa ceva la breakfast. Omul s-a suparat si a plecat (CASTIGATOR DE CINCI STELE AL PREMIULUI DE STUPIDITATE)

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

10. Cand un om a incercat sa traga cu furtunul gazolina dintr-o vidanja a capatat mai mult decat si-a dorit. Politia ajunsa la locul faptei a gasit un om care era incovrigat de rau ce-i era langa vidanja din care cursese niste continut. Omul a admis ca a vrut sa fure gazolina si in loc sa bage furtunul in rezervor l-a bagat in cacastoare. Stapanul vidanjei n-a facut reclamatie spunand ca niciodata nu a ras cu atat pofta.

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