Alegeri in SUA

Acum, cand America a ales deja (marturisesc ca nu ma asteptam la acest rezultat, am judecat dupa Utah, statul in care am fost in 2000, stat eminamente rosu, adica republican) cred ca a sosit timpul sa-mi tin o promisiune.
Am promis ca o sa caut cel mai bun banc despre alegeri pe care l-am primit mai de mult pe email. Voi da intai varianta in engleza, apoi voi incerca sa-l traduc.

While walking down the street one day, a US senator was hit by a truck and died. His soul arrived in heaven and was met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the man. "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose were to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," said the senator. "I'm sorry but we have our rules." And saying that, St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and he went down, down, down to hell. The doors opened and he found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance was a club and standing in front of it were all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone was very happy and in evening dress. They ran to greet him, shook his hand, and reminisced about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present was the devil, who really was a very friendly guy who had a good time dancing and telling jokes. They were having such a good time that, before the senator realized it, it is time to go. Everyone gave him a hearty farewell and waved while the elevator rose. The elevator went up, up, up and the door reopened on heaven where St. Peter was waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven." So, 24 hours passed with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realized it, the 24 hours had gone by and St. Peter returned. "Well then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity." The senator reflected for a minute, then answered, "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." St. Peter escorted him to the elevator and he went down, down, down to hell. The doors of the elevator opened and he was in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He saw all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The devil came over to him and put his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammered the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now all there is is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?" The devil looked at him, smiled and said, "Yesterday we were campaigning...today you voted."

Mergand intr-o zi pe strada un senator a fost lovit de un camion si a decedat. Sufletul lui a ajuns in Rai si a fost intampinat la intrare de Sfantul Petru.
-Bine ai venit in Rai, i-a spus Sf Petru, dar inainte de a te stabili aici se pare ca avem o problema. Noi vedem f rar pe aici asemenea personaje de rang inalt si nu prea stim ce sa facem cu Dv.
-Nici o problema, lasati-ma sa intru, a spus omul.
-Mi-ar face placere, dar am ordine de mai sus. Trebuie sa petreci o zi in Iad si una in Rai, dupa care poti sa alegi unde sa-ti petreci eternitatea.
-Dar sunt hotarat, vreau sa raman in Rai.
-Imi pare rau, dar trebuie sa respectam ordinele.
Si spunand asta Sf Petru l-a condus la lift iar omul a pornit jos, jos, jos, pana in Iad. S-au deschis usile si a ajuns in mijlocul unui teren de golf. In spate era un club si in usa erau toti prietenii si alti politicieni cu care lucrase. Toti erau f fericiti si imbracati in haine de seara. Au alergat sa-l intampine, i-au strans mana si si-au amintit de vremurile bune cand s-au imbogatit pe spinarea poporului. Au jucat golf prieteneste si apoi au cinat cu homari, icre negre si sampanie. Era prezent si Diavolul, care era un tip f prietenos care dansa si spunea glume, simtindu-se cu totii bine.
Au petrecut atat de bine incat senatorul nici nu si-a dat seama cand a venit vremea sa plece. Fiecare i-a spus din inima la revedere si i-a facut cu mana in timp ce liftul se ridica.
Liftul s-a ridicat sus, sus, sus pana a ajuns la Rai unde il astepta Sf Petru.
-Acum e timpul sa vizitezi Raiul.
Astfel 24 de ore au trecut, timp in care senatorul s-a alaturat unui grup de suflete fericite care s-au tot mutat de pe un nor pe altul, cantand in cor si la harpa. S-au simtit bine si, inainte de a-si da seama, au trecut cele 24 de ore si Sf Petru s-a intors.
-Ei, acum ai petrecut o zi in Iad si alta in Rai. Acum alege-ti eternitatea.
Senatorul s-a gandit un moment, apoi a spus:
-Pai, inainte nici prin cap nu mi-ar fi trecut una ca asta dar vreau sa spun ca a fost minunat in Rai, dar m-as simti mai bine in Iad.
Sf Petru l-a condus la lift si a pornit jos., jos, jos, pana in Iad.
Usile s-au deschis si a ajuns in mijlocul unui camp fara pic de vegetatie, acoperit cu tot felul de gunoaie. Si-a vazut toti prietenii imbracati in zdrente, adunand gunoaiele si punandu-le in saci mari, negri, de plastic. Diavolul a venit catre el si l-a luat de umeri.
-Nu inteleg nimic, a baiguit senatorul. Ieri am fost aici si era un teren de golf si un club, am mancat homari, icre negre si am baut sampanie, am dansat si am petrecut f bine. Acum aici e un pustiu acoperit de gunoaie iar prietenii mei sunt imbracati in zdrente. Ce s-a intamplat?
Diavolul s-a uitat la el, a zambit si a spus:
-Ieri eram in campanie, astazi ai votat...