IQ Test la clasa I

Tot din arhiva amintita mai sus am cules si urmatoarea gluma,pe care o voi traduce mai jos, pas cu pas, desi pe alocuri voi avea ceva dificultati.

A first grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!" Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed.

Invatatoarea de la clasa I avea probleme din cauza unui elev. Invatatoarea a intrebat: "Harry, ce-i cu tine?" Harry a raspuns; "Sunt prea destept pt clasa I. Sora mea e in clasa III-a si eu sunt mai destept decat ea! Cred ca ar trebui sa fiu si eu in clasa III-a!". D-na Brooks s-a saturat. L-a dus pe Harry in biroul directorului. In timp ce Harry astepta in anticamera invatatoarea i-a explicat directorului situatia. Directorul i-a spus D-nei Brooks ca ii va da baiatului un test si daca va fi o singura intrebare la care va gresi va merge inapoi la clasa I si se va purta cum trebuie. Invatatoarea a fost de acord.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third grade." Ms Brooks says to the principal:

Harry a fost adus in birou si i s-au explicat conditiile iar el a fost de acord sa dea testul.
Directorul: "Cat fac 3x3?"
Harry: "9"
Directorul: "Cat fac 6x6?"
Harry:"36"
Si asa s-a intamplat cu toate intrebarile la care directorul s-a gandit ca doar un elev de clasa III-a ar putea raspunde. Directorul s-a uitat la D-na Brooks si i-a zis: "Cred ca Harry poate merge la clasa III-a". Doamna Brooks i-a spus directorului:

"Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Harry, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Harry: "Pockets."
Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms Brooks: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut"

"Pot sa pun si eu niste intrebari?" Harry si directorul sunt de acord.
D-na Brooks intreaba: "ce are o vaca patru si eu doar doua?"
Harry, dupa un moment: "Picioare"
D-na Brooks: "Ce ai tu in pantaloni si eu nu?"
Harry: "Buzunare" (nota: D-na B purta, ca o doamna ce era, pantaloni de dama, care se fac fara buzunare, pt ca se presupune ca o doamna nu are nevoie sa puna ceva in buzunare, doar are poseta pt asta)
Si aici incep niste jocuri de cuvinte greu de tradus. De exemplu pants inseamna si a gafai si pantaloni.
D-na Brooks: "In ce intra un barbat cand cainele face?"
Harry: "Pantaloni (cainele gafaie, in engleza sunt omonime)"
Intrebarea urmatoare e intraductibila, la noi ar suna asa: "ce incepe cu P, se termina cu A si e paroasa, calda si intra ceva in ea?" la ei "Ce incepe cu C, se termina cu T este paroasa, ovala, delicioasa si contine un lichid albicios?"
Harry; daca ar fi fost roman ar fi raspuns "Poseta de blana" ,fiind vorbitor de engleza spune: "Coconut" adica nuca de cocos.

Ms Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.
Harry: "Bubblegum"
Ms Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Harry: "Shake hands".

D-na Brooks: "Ce intra tare si roz si iese moale si lipicioasa?"
Ochii directorului se deschid mari de tot si inainte de a opri raspunsul Harry se repede.
Harry;"Guma de mestecat cu bule"
D-na Brooks:"Ce face un barbat in picioare, o femeie (de fapt o doamna) sezand si un caine in trei picioare?"
Ochii directorului se deschid mari de tot si inainte de a opri raspunsul...
Harry: "Isi dau mana"

Ms Brooks: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Harry: "Yep".
Ms Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do".
Harry: "Tent"
Ms Brooks: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first".
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: "Wedding Ring"

D-na Brooks: "Acum am sa-ti pun niste intrebari de genul 'Cine sunt' okay?"
Harry: "D'ap"
D-na Brooks: "Iti infigi parii in mine. Ma legi ca sa ma ridici (exciti). Ma ud inaintea ta"
Harry:"Cortul"
D-na Brooks:"In mine intra un deget. te joci cu mine cand esti plictisit. Cavalerul de onoare ma are primul".
Directorul pare nelinistit si un pic cam tensionat.
Harry: "Verigheta"

Ms Brooks: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good".
Harry: "Nose"
Ms Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver".
Harry: "Arrow"
Ms Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"

D-na Brooks: "Am marimi diferite. Cand nu ma simt bine, picur. Cand ma sufli (in romana ar fi "sugi", dar...) te simti bine"
Harry:"Nasul"
D-na Brooks: "Sunt tare. Varful meu penetreaza. Cand termina, ma cutremur"
Harry:"Sageata"
Acum din nou am dificultati de traducere. In romaneste ar fi "Ce incepe cu P si se termina cu A, intra in tine si te face bine?"
D-na Brooks vorbind in engleza zice: "Incepe cu F si se termina cu K (dar, de cand cu filmele de serie B si C transmise in extenso la orice ora la TV si traducerea cuvantului cu "la naiba" cred ca orice pici cunoaste cuvantul), inseamna o multime de caldura si excitare"
Harry: daca era roman zicea "Pilula sau Pastila" dar fiind vorbitor de engleza zice: "Firetrack, adica masina de pompieri"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send Harry to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Directorul rasufla usurat si-i zice invatatoarei: "Trimite-ti-l pe Harry la universitate. Eu am gresit raspunsul la ultimele zece intrebari"