Umor irlandez

Sayings

Ziceri

A man that can't laugh at himself should be given a mirror.

Cui nu poate rade de el insusi sa i se dea o oglinda.

A man takes a drink; the drink takes a drink; the drink takes the man.

Primul pahar de bautura alcoolica il bei tu, al doilea pahar se bea pe el, al treilea pahar te bea pe tine (traducere libera)

A narrow neck keeps the bottle from being emptied in one swig.

Gatul ingust al sticlei te impiedica sa o golesti dintr-o inghititura.

Morning is the time to pity the sober. The way they're feeling then is the best they're going to feel all day.

Dimineata e momentul sa-ti fie mila de cel treaz. Atunci e momentul zilei in care se simte cel mai bine.

You can lead the horse to the well, but you can't make him drink.

Poti sa duci calul la apa, dar nu-l poti forta sa bea.

Better the coldness of a friend than the sweetness of an enemy.

E mai buna raceala unui prieten decat amabilitatea unui dusman.

Be nice to them on the way up. You might meet them all on the way down.

Poarta-te frumos cu oamenii cand esti in drum spre treptele de sus ale scarii sociale. S-ar putea sa te intalnesti cu toti cand cobori.

If a man fools me once, shame on him. If he fools me twice, shame on me.

Daca cineva ma inseala o data, sa-i fie rusine. Daca ma inseala de doua ori, sa-mi fie rusine.

Let your anger set the sun and not rise again with it.

Lasa-ti mania sa apuna odata cu soarele si sa nu rasara iar odata cu el.

Irish Humor

What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife?A bachelor.
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Cum se numeste un irlandez care-si controleaza (stapaneste) nevasta?
Burlac.

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Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.
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Definitia unui sot irlandez: Nu si-a sarutat nevasta de acum douazeci de ani dar ar ucide pe orice barbat care ar saruta-o.

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Courtship is a time during which the girl decides whether she can do better or not.
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In timpul in care e curtata o fata hotaraste daca poate sau nu mai mult.

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Dinny was standing in the street the other day when an English chap came up to him and said,"I say old chap, could you show me the way to the nearest boozer?"Says Dinny, hopefully,You're looking at him."
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Dinny statea mai zilele trecute pe strada cand un Englez a venit la el si a zis: "Asculta, batrane, poti sa-mi spui cum ajung pana la cel mai apropiat pub (aici e un joc de cuvinte, boozer insemnand atat pub cat si betiv)" Zice Dinny, indatoritor:"Tocmai te uiti la el"

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An Irishman who had a little to much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over."So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?""Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk."Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few too drink this evening"."I did all right," the drunk says with a smile."Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?""Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Un irlandez care a baut cam mult mergea serpuind cu masina pe sosea,in drumul sau de la oras, intr-o noapte. un politist iltrage pe stanga (nu pe dreapta,ca la noi, np). " De unde vii la ora asta? intreaba politistul. "De la pub, bineinteles, reuseste cu greu sa articuleze betivul. "Se vede ca ai baut cam mult in seara asta",zice politistul. "Asa e" raspunde betivul zambind. "Stii, zice politistul stand drept si incrucisandu-si bratele pe piept (pozitie tipic englezeasca, np) ca vreo cateva intersectii in urma ti-a cazut nevasta din masina?" "Oh, Multumesc Domnului, suspina usurat betivul, de cateva minute credeam ca am surzit."