LE CHOCOLAT

Am primit prin email un text care mi s-a parut interesant. Apoiam "rasfoit" arhiva de Food Funny de la Chef si am gasit cateva texte despre ciocolata care m-au amuzat la timpul lor. Pt ca sunt cam multe m-am decis sa nu traduc nimic.

Le chocolat fait-il grossir ? Vrai... et Faux ! Car 100 g de chocolat noir apportent autant de calories (environ 500) que 200g de frites. Le chocolat doit donc être exclu des régimes amaigrissants. Mais chez une personne qui n'a pas de problème de poids, la consommation modérée de chocolat n'expose pas à l'obésité.

Le chocolat augmente-t-il le taux de cholestérol ? Réponse : Faux. Le chocolat noir (dépourvu de lait) ne contient pas de cholestérol. Il renferme en réalité des substances -les phytostérols- qui freinent l'absorption intestinale du cholestérol apporté par les autres aliments. Quant au beurre de cacao, il apporte des graisses qui font augmenter le bon cholestérol et diminuent le taux de mauvais cholestérol. Bref, c'est tout bon...

Le chocolat aide-t-il à lutter contre le stress ? Réponse : Vrai. Le chocolat provoque la sécrétion par le cerveau de substances opiacées qui sont euphorisantes. Certains dénoncent même déjà le chocolat comme une drogue telle que le cannabis ! Cela dit, les « chocolatomanes » sont rares. Il s'agit le plus souvent de femmes dont la « chocolatomanie » se manifeste avant les règles, en réponse à une situation de stress.

Le chocolat peut-il provoquer des migraines ? Réponse : Vrai. Comme le vin blanc, le chocolat contient de la tyramine. Et les migraineux s'en méfieront car cette substance peut en effet provoquer des migraines.

Le chocolat aide-t-il à dormir ? Réponse : Faux. Au contraire, le chocolat contient de la caféine et de la théobromine qui stimulent l'éveil. Et ces substances sont également des stimulants musculaires. Mais tout se discute...

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Chocolate Rules
1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
7. Money talks. Chocolate sings.
8. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
9. Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.
10. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
11. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
12. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

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Why Engineers Don't Write Recipe Books
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
532.35 cm3 gluten (faina)
4.9 cm3 NaHCO3 (bicarbonat de sodiu)
4.9 cm3 refined halite (clorura de sodiu=sare de bucatarie)
236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride (unt)
177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11 (zahar)
177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde (arome)
Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein (oua)
473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 BTU/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extruder attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

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Fara legatura cu ciocolata, dar oarecum in trend tinand cont de criza mondiala:

Last month a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

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Nici asta nu are vreun pic de ciocolata in ea dar, pt ca s-au inmultit pizzeriile in Bucuresti precum ciupercile dupa ploaie, precum si raidurile mascatilor si ale procurorilor unde nici cu gandul nu gandesti, cred ca e de interes:

Here's a supposedly true story:

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.
Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so.
CLICK.

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Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

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Dilema rezolvata:

It just occurred to me --
Can't eat beef - mad cow.
Can't eat chicken - bird flu
Can't eat eggs - again, bird flu
Can't eat pork - fears that bird flu will infect piggies
Can't eat fish - heavy metals in the waters has poisoned their meat
Can't eat fruits and veggies - insecticides and herbicides
As adauga: nu pot consuma lapte sau branzeturi din motive de febra aftoasa.
Hmmmm. I believe that leaves chocolate!

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Compendium of chocolate wisdom:

-Some people are semi-sweet; others are just plain nutty
.-Don't cry over spilled milk - unless, of course, it's chocolate milk.
-Blind dates are like chocolate - they are usually chunky and they quickly disappear.
-When life presents you a rocky road, just eat your way out of it
.-Keep your fingers off other people's bonbons.
-Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but its chocolate that steals the show.
-An ounce of truffles is worth a pound of anything.
-Milk Chocolate... for all it's worth.
-You never really know a person till you've shared a box of chocolates with them.
-A kiss is just a kiss, but a chocolate kiss is bliss.
-The best things in life are not fat free.
-When all else fails, fudge it!

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And, pour la bonne bouche, o poezie:

Commissary Report

Our fathers were fellows of substance and weight,
They drank when they drank, and they ate when they ate,
They made a light breakfast of flapjacks and pie,
They greeted corned beef with a ravenous cry,
Their luncheon was spareribs, with beans on the side--
They lived free and equal,
And what was the sequel?
They died.

The men of our era are timid with food,
Their principal ration is calories, stewed,
They start off the morning with prune flakes and bran
And patented mannas,
And shredded bananas--
They got a whole meal from a single tin can.
They keep a keen eye on the vitamin chart,
Affect fancy diets, and know them by heart,
They pick at their food like a wren or a chick
For fear they'll get cancer,
And what is the answer?
They're sick.

- Stoddard King